Eight Things Women Should Celebrate, But Don’t
I was with a massage client the other day, listening to her talk about the demands on her time which were driving her to the jitters. Demands from her children, family and life in general . Her youngest will be starting school in September and she realised that she has been looking after her children at home for 10 years. 10 YEARS! There were mixed feelings of course; sadness at her baby growing up, excitement about having more time to herself, but why not celebrate the amazing work she has done over the ten years? Coming up with creative solutions, delicious food, entertainment, education, negotiation skills that the UN would die for etc. The energy she put in, has created confident, happy talented girls are fantastic people. This should be celebrated!
It made me think that there are loads of other things women should celebrate, but don’t. Here’s my top eight.
Many of us put our ambitions aside to look after our children and yet guilt seems to be endemic to motherhood. Instead of beating ourselves up, lets celebrate the years we have given to creating these fabulous beings.
2. First period
A girl’s first period is her transition into womanhood, but do we celebrate it? Too often girls get lumbered with our own hang-ups and negativity about our cycles which means their arrival as women gets hushed up. Why not throw a party instead? Dress code? Red.
Ooh the change! Coming to the end of our reproductive lives is another hush-hush affair. When it is mentioned it is usually talked about in terms of bothersome symptoms and unpredictable moods. But this time in a woman’s life brings gifts well worth celebrating; greater creativity, power, self-confidence, being assertive, liberation from oestrogen driven caring! A new Harley Davidson as a gift perhaps?
4. Birthdays after 40
Maybe because I have brilliant older sisters, I have never understood why we’re not supposed to ask a woman her age. Birthdays are an excellent time to say – hooray for all of me; I’m still here, still alive, still curious, with all my flaws, wrinkles and mistakes; I AM GOOD ENOUGH! Next year I want a helium balloon that says ‘48 years old’ in glitter writing. Pretty please.
5. Our cycles
The ebb and flow of our cycles gives us a key into the ebb and flow of life. Understanding the shifts that our monthly journey takes is a massive gift and helps us to ride the ups and downs of life. Listening to our bodies and working in tune with them is a great education. That’s why we have curved sides and men straighter sides, it reminds us to surf the waves.
6. Our bellies
The target of extraordinary negativity (too fat, too wobbly, bloated, dysfunctional etc) we seldom give a thought to the service our bellies provide. Digesting and extracting nourishment, intuition, deep knowing, producing serotonin, hormones and babies all seem to be taken as a given, when what they do is AMAZING! Give your belly a loving massage instead.
7. Our softness
We kind of prefer our bodies to stay still here in the UK. But the softness of our bodies is a deeply feminine thing, emblematic of comfort, receiving, acceptance and safety all the best of mothering. Remember people, you can’t snuggle up to a silicone body; it just doesn’t yield properly. Here’s a video about ‘The 4th Trimester Project’ a wonderful photo-documentary that celebrates softness.
8. Invisible work
Ever felt that the work you do in the home is not recognised? If we don’t value the energy we put in to the household, no one else will either. Instead of writing a to-do list, try writing a ‘done’ list that includes everything, really everything you do. All the things so routine, so small they fall beneath the radar;
- wiping surfaces
- picking up peas from the floor
- emptying the dishwasher and washing up
- picking stuff up and putting it away
- all laundry related activity
- remembering everyone’s food tastes and planning meals
- Scheduling and managing everyone’s diaries
- taxi service
Seeing all that time, energy and ingenuity gathered together is an amazing reminder of the work we put in to other people’s lives.
What do you think we should celebrate? How should we do it? Leave a comment below and share your ideas.