Butterfly Spirit and her Sassy Pants
This is part of the Pants of Empowerment project, where women share the voice of their feminine nature and in return, receive a fantastic pair of pants to empower them. All names have been changed.
See where your attention is drawn to, where’s the vibrancy here, who wants to speak?
It’s like a cerise pink and orange lava lamp landscape, there’s a reluctance to speak, it’s as though someone turned the lights out, I think that’s the stroppy teenager in me.
She’s in a strop with arms folded, she’s sulky. It’s about shame, shame around that part of me that thinks to even engage with my womb is shameful. To do with embarrassment about periods and things. ‘What are you doing? How could you even do this’. I want to gently say that it’s not shameful and there’s no need to hide any more.
It’s feeling a bit softer, the teenager is no longer there. It’s woolly, with cloudy purples and cerise pink and orange, like a huge cave. With a shiny surface, like wet rock, dark grey speckledy bits. Bits of turquoise.
There are silver ribbon-like things, silver and pink like a beautiful grotto.
It’s very soft and sensual, an amazing, beautiful place, safe.
There’s part of me curling up inside there like a cat, with loads of turquoise. It looks like shiny rock but it feels like clouds, all marshmallowy and soft.
It’s like there’s a reluctance to be born, and it’s like birth or death, a sense that they’re both the same. That holding and that quality. It’s very soft and sensual.
There’s a lot of red now. Like my womb wants to speak, there’s lots of wisdom here. There’s power, a soft feminine power that doesn’t need to shout or assert, but it’s SO powerful. It’s saying ‘ If I can connect with that, then I can do anything’
There are Waterfalls, huge, cascading, ribbony waterfalls – the colours change, it’s turquoise/lilac and then reds. It’s like a place of power. Without ego. So much wisdom. It’s stoic. I don’t need to shout about it. There’s no ego. Anything’s possible, nothing’s too much.
An old wise women has appeared, she’s smiling gently and holding out her arms. She puts her hand on my head, I can lie in her lap.
I want her to speak, but there’s nothing. She says you don’t need me to tell you because you have all the answers already, you have your innate wisdom, you have your intuition if you can tune in.
Follow my heart not my head
Look back as well as forward.
There’s something about this ancestral line, about knowing that I need to feel it, all you need is you, there’s a deep sense of calm and tranquillity and I am deeply cared for and protected and someone’s got my back; many women have my back.
They tell me to rise up, in a deep, feminine, powerful way, without shouting. Using my innate feminine wisdom and intuition. Centred, Grounded, strong. That Dalai Lhama quality.
There’s nothing pathetic about it.
I’m getting this message – ‘I come from a strong line of women’
There’s something about passing on the wisdom, and that everything I’ve learnt up until now at this time in my life is valid and valuable.
There’s this voice going MAKE SASSY PANTS!
Before we come out of this extraordinary resource, I’d like to check in again with your sulky teenager and see how she’s doing.
She’s in too much of a strop, she saying fuck off. I think she needs not ignoring, but acknowledging, ‘I know you’re embarrassed and that this is weird for you , but this is something that every other part of me wants to do, we need to explore ways so that it doesn’t feel so embarrassing. I’m sorry you weren’t heard, I’ve got you.
Do you think she heard that?
Yes, she did.
She just needs to be heard and held. She’s into the sassy pants, pretty, and feminine and …. She wants turquoise silk, lilac, purple ribbon, she’s interested in what they feel like.
She’s showing me cami-knickers, like shorts almost. A pale turquoise, bluey… she says, I’m getting in on this, and she’s accepting it now, she feels like she’s heard.
I want sassy pants!
If you’d like to try the Pants of Empowerment, you can read more about it here.