Cyclical understanding is baked into every part of my life. In my postmenopause, I find it an easy and nuanced tool for navigating towards more self-compassion and agency. If you fancy a catch-up, you can read about the seasons, check out a cartoon version, learn about the phases of menopause, and have a look at the second, postmenopausal cycle from the image below. And top tip: my online course will also enhance your understanding!
But I’m aware that seasonal awareness isn’t universally loved. From various people I’ve heard it sidelined as a Pinterest meme only of use for menstruating trad wives, harnessing the menstrual cycle to whip up toxic productivity, and I recently discovered it’s been hijacked by Trump and Kennedy in their MAHA campaign. This has prompted me to unpack some of the questions and complaints I regularly receive about the inner seasons. Laydeez and germs I present to you: life seasons FAQ.
Isn’t cycle awareness just for conception?
The seasonal shifts dominate our menstruating years, and whether you want to conceive or desperately don’t, understanding your seasons is essential. However, the seasons still operate through perimenopause and beyond. Big chunks of our life show as different seasons, one cycle from your first period to menopause, and a second postmenopause to the end of life.
But postmenopause is shit!
People often point out that their menstrual day or their age bears no relation to the inner season that I am suggesting. I piss a lot of people off by sharing the concept of Second Spring, because it’s seen as elitist or unrealistic. For example, you’re postmenopausal but still want to crawl back into the duvet cave, or you’re in your 60s, which I refer to as Second Summer, and you feel defeated by life. This is because the cyclical wheel describes an archetypal cycle, but life is always going to challenge us:
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- We can’t rest in our menopause winter
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- Multiple bereavements deepen and extend winter for years
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- Illnesses and trauma shift our seasonal landscape
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Yet underneath the rubble of a lived life, our souls still feel the pull towards and longing for the expression offered by the Life Season, and that is part of the paradox. We’re stuck in dreary work and struggling to survive, but our creative spirit longs for expression. We emerge postmenopause beaten by ageism, and our germ of an idea is way too tender to see the light of day. Doesn’t mean it’s not there, just that it doesn’t have the opportunity to grow. If you fancy a guide, you might like this one here.
But not everyone lives till their 80s
The second, postmenopausal Life Seasons are strongly affected by our accumulated life experience, so naturally we’ll be feeling the need to address and resolve issues that arose from our earlier life, and this gives our seasons a different complexion. Likewise, illness and death happen at any age, and unless I am taken out by a bus tomorrow, whatever age I become frail and die, I will be in a Life Autumn and Winter, whether I am 30, 40 or 92.
I can’t plan anything
Another question people have is that they don’t feel the seasons proceed in a nice orderly manner. After all, the expectation is of a nice Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter flow. They might be looking for patterns in the moon cycle, the menstrual cycle, or through the phases of menopause. Again, in real life, we are affected by so many things: from blood sugar to fascist threats, that in the everyday world, we’ll be affected by all kinds of inner seasons through our day, in random order, and about as orderly as an eaton mess pudding. With these big Life Seasons, it’s helpful to understand the soul-led pull of the key tasks and superpowers that can move us towards a more satisfying life, but the seasons may only be clearly apparent in retrospect.
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- Much more useful is to recognise the seasons as they move through you, as randomly as they do, and respond to them. Quite simply:
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- Rest, or slow down when you are tired
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- Validate the fuck out of yourself when you feel you can do it all
- Edit and let go as required when you’re in a snippy mood, keeping away from the crowd.
- Allow for playfulness and let yourself fail when needed
This is why I like to note down what season I notice, and how I care for myself (as in the Perimenopause Journal) because it helps me to hone what works and doesn’t. You’ll likely find that often, you are just caring for them spontaneously without thinking about it at all.
I hate this woo-woo stuff
You’ll have heard me, and many others wang on about the duality of acceptable expansion in spring and summer and demonised contraction of autumn and winter. When you’ve skipped breakfast, both extremities will feel grim. What I wish for you is to experience resourced seasons, where you can experience the qualities without panicking and opting out. A resourced Autumn will clear out your cupboards and do your emotional integration, a resourced Summer will let you fully absorb your brilliance, and so on, each season supporting the next. How do you do this? No woo-woo magic involved here: nourish with good food, rest, sleep, move, pleasure and be in community on repeat. Over time, this is what gives us access to the magic the seasonal superpowers gift us. If you fancy upping your resource levels, you might find this Lifestyle and Self-Care Audit helpful.
For the low-down on all things cyclical, laced with my hand-picked resource list, you might enjoy my online course, the Perimenopause Starter Kit.
