Amazing to think that a decade ago, I was barely reading at all. But this year I’ve been feeding the fire with fast and furious sessions circled up wherever I can hide from work and family. There have been old loves returning, new romances, tough reads and joyous romps, but the most notable bookish event of the year was me running out of cash to feed my habit and returning to the library again.
There it was still smelling the same, with the same charming librarian who recognised me from the desperate visits with toddlers years ago, and full of books. Rooms full of books you can take home for free! In fact you can order pretty much any book in the universe and it will arrive at your local library. For this you have to pay. 80p.
The library service has become fully digitised now which makes it all easy peasy and you can rent ebooks too. It was a bit of a tech conundrum to figure out the software to make them jump onto my e-reader, but now I’ve managed that I’m am finally free of Amazon. No more Kindle. No more supporting the evil empire. If you make one resolution for this year, join your local library. Kiss librarians. Buy them coffees and sing their praises.
Kiss authors also, it’s a tough gig. Review their books where you can, ‘follow’ them on Amazon, (here’s my profile where you can do that) then buy their books from indy bookshops like this one.
Laydeez and Germs, for the fifth year I am delighted to share all the books I read this year. If you’re curious you can also find 2019, 2020, 2021 and 2022 also.
The Betrayals – Bridget Collins
Having been wowed by The Binding, I was looking forward to this but was somewhat disappointed. Though the environment was beautifully described the characters were not as well rounded somehow, perhaps the patriarchal culture too stultifying, and I couldn’t quite care enough whether they pulled through. Loved the idea of The Game ‘grand jeu’ though, a combination of poetry, maths, gesture, maths and attitude. Keeps the twist right for the last pages.
Bookworm – Lucy Mangan
Affirmed and charmed by the combination of memoir, history of children’s literature and hymn to the joys of a life spent mostly reading. It reminded me of books that have comforted me for years and introduced me to many classics I missed.
The Good Ancestor- Roman Krznaric
Essential reading that sets out six ways we can shift our desire from instant gratification to long term thinking. Draws in examples of sustainable systems from around the world, art, deep time thinking and philosophy. Inspiring us all to be time rebels shifting our attention from this generation to all future humanity. Left me hopeful.
The Well Gardened Mind – Sue Stewart Smith
Stuffed with history, research, family stories, professional and personal anecdotes and examples from all around the world that nature and tending plants is excellent for mental health. You knew that, I knew that but the examples Sue serves us sparkle with hope, resilience and delight. Now, fibbers at the ready….
The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
Classic children’s lit written in 1911 by the author of the less than resilient Little Lord Faunerloy. You could read it as an exposure of the inhumanity caused by colonialism, the racism, the traumatised child shaming etc. but I suggest you save yourself the pain, skip the first bit and start reading when our hero starts to garden. The hymn to spring and the power of nature is peerless in its capacity to lift the spirits.
My Grandmothers Hands – Resmaa Menakem
Singularly the best book on dismantling racism I’ve encountered. Resmaa focuses on how gently and persistently addressing trauma in the body; the black body, white body and police body will stop the cycles of trauma being endlessly repeated. Often seen as ‘fluffy’ or ‘ woo-woo’, body centred practices presented here can be seen as the life-changing and white-privilege shifting tools they are
Find Your Own Path – Fiona Buckland
Find Your Path offers a friendly step-by-step approach to finding your calling. There are accessible practices and enquiries to help when you’re stuck or the inner critics are raging, inspiring stories from clients and Fiona’s life to bring courage to face the fears. It’s a warm, friendly companion that brings light to the dark places we face as we move towards a more fulfilling way of being whether you’re a seasoned traveler or just getting started. If you’ve ever wished for a life coach in your pocket, here it is.
Descent and Rising – Carly Mountain
For those who are lost, failing, duck feet going ever faster, falling backwards down the rabbit hole, this is your validation. A reminder to every one of us that to rise, we must first descend, and still probably no one but us knows how deep down we go. Carly takes the myth of İnanna and grounds it with real life examples, personal stories helpful enquiries and practices that give meaning and purpose to the darkest times. Like a kindly, soulful friend , as soon as I started reading it gave me a huge sense of comfort and validation.
Royals – Emma Forest
I am almost exactly the same age as our tender hero Stephen and his love of Diana (not yet the peoples’ Princess) which frames this coming of age story, gave a sharp piquancy for me. Together with his fragile new bohemian friend Jasmine, their confidence, class and expectations of happiness clash and contrast brilliantly against a backdrop of Charles and Di’s wedding and honeymoon. Perfect period piece.
The Thin Place – CD Major
I can’t remember buying this, it might have been a free download that winked at me when I needed something ’light’ to distract me. Journalist Ava becomes obsessed with finding the truth about an old estate, a thin place that haunts her. Multiple timelines, clever plotting and convincing family relationships couldn’t outweigh the gloom. I kept going for 3/4 of the book before I gave up. Gothic novels with what felt like vicarious cruelty don’t contribute to a good nights sleep unfortunately.
The Secret Network of Nature- Peter Wohlleben
An awe inducing wonder of a book describing the intricate relationship of the world around us and how vulnerable it is. The big magic of wolves bending rivers, trees tilting the earth’s rotation, worms changing wild boar populations…. Many of these chapters I had to read again just to confirm I understood what I’d just read. Mind expanding stuff which brought on a fresh rush of climate despair especially in the face of current government fossil fuel policy.
The Marriage Portrait- Maggie O’Farrell
I am a total fan girl as you can see from 2021’s list. Given the choice I would only read Maggie O’Farrell over and over again, but I’m choosing to space them out just for deliciousness. In this cracker we go inside the Medici court in Florence 1500’s. Our young heroine Lucrezia barely contains her wild free self, romantic nature and creative vision at home but when she’s married off in a political move, her spirit is necessarily crushed. I can’t chose between hamnet and the marriage portrait, both an absolute jewels.
The Wiser Woman’s Guide to Perimenopause and Menopause – Tania Elfersy
Tania dares to question conventional views of ‘deficient’ and ‘out of control’ hormones and instead offer a liberating view of perimenopause. Shown as a time to level up our health, let go of what no longer serves and access more joy in our lives, she shares how perimenopause has been hijacked by misogynistic misinformation. Clear, concise and funny, Wiser Woman lets us off the hook and offers a simple, transformative approach that’s available to all of us. Refreshing and insightful , full of stories and well researched this is a future meno-classic. Highly recommended.
The Book of Difficult Fruit: arguments for the tart, tender, and unruly – Kate Lebo
I am a terrible jam-maker. Slapdash to the point that the product is often inedible, but I am fascinated by the idea of taking something unpromising and free and turning it into pure gold. Pure alchemy! Kate Leyo’s gender defying memoir slash recipe book slash food culture slash food science slash lament completely appealed to me. The subtitle says it all: tart, tender and unruly like all the best people.
Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking – Susan Cain
A manifesto for anyone who’s been jollied along to parties, scared witless at presentations or been beset by social anxiety. Stuffed with the latest research from neuroscience and psychology, examples of introverted super-powers and stories of quiet triumphs that changed the world (Rosa Parks for example) we dive into how our culture came to reward extroversion Wonderful stuff.
Enchantment- Katherine May
Like a rambling midnight conversation on a crackly line, Katherine May’s book whispered to my secret fears and longing. How do we escape the stultifying pace and homogeney of day-to-day life. Finding wonder and awe in the every day through ritual, the natural world, she weaves memoir , history and philosophy together in a four part tour of the elements. Perhaps not as fluid as Wintering but not to be missed
The Forty Rules of Love – Elif Shafak
Enjoyable story about passion and the search for the true path. The poet Rumi, Sufi Shams of Tabriz and Ella, an east coast housewife examining the state of family life all discover levels of love deeper than they though possible . Multiple narrators and a back to front plot line bring out layers of meaning as the inevitable ending unfolds.
Your Voice in my Head – Emma Forrest
This was a really tough read. Emma’s memoir is admirable in that she doesn’t gloss over her vulnerability the eating disorder and mental health challenges. The inner uglies are right there for us to pick over. Unfortunately so is her relationship with the movie star, the endless name dropping and professional triumphs I did finish it. But only to make sure she survived.
Yoga for Menopause and Beyond An Evidence-Based Reimagining – Niamh Daly
*I read this as a manuscript just before Niamh scored a book deal and a home for this treasure, so you’ll have to be patient and wait for publication to get your paws on it, maybe check out Niamh’s socials for the latest news* As a keen yoga student, Yoga for Menopause and Beyond is an enlightening read. It has given me choices and options for my practice, my life and wellbeing that are paving the way for me to be a proper bad-arse old woman, so I can age with more vitality, sass and discernment. Great trauma-friendly practice and theory.
Still Life – Sarah Winman
Possibly my perfect novel. Richly drawn, complex humans engage deeply with life’s fullness. Love does and doesn’t triumph, compromises are made and goodness somewhat wins out. Plus lots of descriptions of wonderful food. Only my secret superpower of delaying gratification stopped me from reading everything else she’d written. I had actually read The Year of Mysterious Ways a few years ago and I resolved to go back and enjoy it again with fresh eyes.
The Success Myth – Emma Gannon
A fascinating doorway into the experience of millennial life: how did they do deeply buy into that success driven, goal oriented shit? Reading it, I felt the previously invisible chasm between me (born 1965 so squished between boomer and Gen X) and millennials open wide, an actual generation gap. Enlightening. Also helpful to understand how neglecting to celebrate our own achievements small and large, creates all sorts of problems. Resolved to practice more self-validation in the hope it stops me from endlessly seeking it from others.
Lullaby – Lëila Sliman
This thriller starts by describing the gruesome conclusion. The rest of the pages let us discover the and why. Translated beautifully from French, Leila shows how the class and economic divide plays out in contemporary Paris. From the fragile attachment the mother has with her children as she goes back to work to the grinding poverty and vulnerability of the nanny. Through the tight plot and well-observed domestic detail we question ideas of motherhood, family and society.
My Rock and Roll Friend- Tracey Thorn
I devoured this juicy telling of 37 years of friendship between Tracey (singer /songwriter in 90’s band Everything But The Girl) quiet, ambitious, successful and Lindy Morrison (drummer in The Go Betweens) wild, expressive, chaotic. Through their letters, telly interviews and journalism Tracey unpacks the way women are written out of music. Unusual for someone in her position she brings a layered feminist lens, sharp intellect and her own vulnerabilities to the page to open up questions of what is lost when a male gaze describes the narrative .
Foxfire, Wolfskin and other stories of Shapeshifting Women – Sharon Blackie
13 stories of women not being what they seem. Changing from domestic to wild, wild to tame, earthbound to free and back again. Sharon has taken old folk tales and rewritten them in her sparkling prose into a variety of styles from mythic poetry all the way to my favourite, an Eat Pray Love parody of a vision quest workshop hosted by Baba Yaga. That made me laugh out loud. At the back, there are explanations of where each story came from which is particularly pleasing.
Chain-Gang All-Stars – Nana Keane Adjei-Brenyah
Dystopian novel set in the near future where convicted murderers compete in gladiatorial combat to the death. I loved the detail of this world; the McDonald’s-ish trademarks on killers uniforms, the gadgets, the language, the way weird tech had become even more part of life that ours. I loved the clever parallels of enslavement and exposing racism inherent in the prison system But. But I gave up a third of the way through because the details and cleverness was not enough to carry me through the sheer darkness of this future.
Free Love – Tessa Hadley
Set in 60’s London, our Shero Phyl inhabits ‘stockbroker belt’ suburbs seemingly content with her stultifying life until this Sleeping Beauty is wakened by a kiss. Her vitality awakened, she ups and leaves for Notting Hill for a crack at authentic life. Here we dive into the melting pot of Windrush arrivals, writers, artists, Debs and full-on bohemian life. All the characters are properly flawed and Tessa beautifully skewers the compromises the characters make, as they all, in their own ways, adjust to Phyls’ awakening. Subtle, sad, hopeful, kind and beautifully written.
Real Estate – Deborah Levy
The third of Deborah’s memoir trilogy pondering on finding solid ‘real estate’ in a misogynistic world: what does she have of value? She swaps her crumbling flat in north London for a sparse minimalist Parisian apartment , then a crumbling rental in Hydra, and none of them compare to her dream. Loved the mixture of whimsy, feminism, literary smarts, astute observation and feminism.
The Dutch House – Ann Patchet
Aside from the wealth, this could almost be the story of almost any family It’s about the cost of not forgiving what was done in the past and the tight hold our grievances have over us in the present. Siblings defined by loss and the romance of a vast, ornate mansion 1920-1980 or so in Philadelphia. Compelling and engrossing despite the incredibly flawed narrator.
One Last Thing: how to live with the end in mind – Wendy Mitchell
Animals have assisted ends when they are in pain, but not humans. In the third of Wendy’s groundbreaking books, this investigates the ideas, laws and practicalities of ending life without suffering. Wendy is my age, 57 and has early onset dementia so this is not theoretical, this is for real. She generously lends her experience and also talks to medics, campaigners, hospice staff and relatives about the ins and outs of navigating this difficult territory. I hope that soon, as seems like, the law will change in the uk. Harrowing but essential reading.
City of Tears – Kate Mosse
It’s been a long time since I read Labyrinth and I remembered how I’d loved it. Wanting a page-turner I found this in BorrowBox and it was the perfect relief from the intensity of One Last Thing. Set in the Renaissance and covering the religious wars in Europe it’s stuffed with great female characters, historical accuracy and a pacey plot. Perfect bedtime reading: just exciting enough.
Somebody I Used To Know – Wendy Mitchell
I’m reading these backwards, and this is the first of the series written with Anna Wharton. My mum had early onset, my dad in his 70’s, both my Grandmothers and now my mother in law have had dementia and this is the first time I have really understood what it’s like from the inside. Wendy describes the fog rolling in, and thankfully, out of her mind, the terror as she finds herself lost in her kitchen, the complex strategies she uses to navigate the world. The urgency of vanishing time and capability make Wendy grab life with both hands and become a dementia ambassador, travelling the uk to talk about her experiences, and pushing herself to use her brain and her Self, before she looses them.
Spirits Abroad – Zen Cho
One of the best books I’ve read so far this year, and certainly the best opening paragraph. Contemporary magical realism set in UK and Malaysia, vibrant with ghosts, dragons and the undead based in myth Both human and non-human navigate heartbreak, terrible jobs, bossy aunties and shit schools in the real world, all described in down-to-earth short stories I can’t wait to see what zen Cho creates next.
What I Wish People Knew About Dementia- Wendy Mitchell with Anna Wharton
The third and last of my dementia-bender courtesy of Wendy’s generous sharing. This one is less memoir and more practical. It’s divided into areas of life: the senses, relationships, emotions etc covering the inside experience of living with dementia as well as solutions for making life easier and retaining as much independence and quality of life as possible. Great first choice for anyone touched by dementia
The Bees – Laline Paull
A novel that takes place in a hive full of bees. Sounded too weird and annoying but Leora loved it and i trust her judgement , and was I carried away with the drama. It was a bit bumpy at first, but books often are, and it wasn’t long before I was seeing the world through bees eyes. Bee-utiful
In Your Vagina Lies the Key To Your Happiness – Naomi Gale
*At the time of writing, Amazon have currently blacklisted this book and rendered it unfindable on Amazon, it would really help Naomi out if you followed her, bought it, put it in your basket and generally indicated its brilliance you’ll find it on this link*
A brilliant read for anyone interested in reproductive health. Naomi offers an integrated mind/body approach that brings us home to ourselves with love and compassion. I observe many teachers of sexuality are ‘talking heads’, totally disconnected from their bodies. Naomi is the the real deal: deeply rooted into the power and fragility of female anatomy. Through her lived integrity and years of experience, in IYVLYKTH she allows us all to open the key to happiness.
Black and British A Forgotten History – David Olusoga
Dense historical exploration of black Britain from the Romans to Black Lives Matter. It took me a long time to read this, partly because it’s so detailed, and at 500+ small print pages, there’s a lot of historical research. It also needed space to digest the different forms that racism has taken over the centuries and how we have come to a place where innocent men in cars are shot by police. The author’s passion, erudition and clarity makes it a fabulous read.
The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida – Shehan Karinatilaka
This was very Bookerish, and it won in 2022. Clever, a bit complicated in its use of language, a satire of the murderous factions in Sri Lanka. So I really tried to enjoy it, tried to read it…. but gave up. The combination of extreme violence, the black ‘comedy’ and not really caring for any of the characters did for me.
Instructions for a Heatwave – Maggie O’Farrell
All of which sent me running into the warm, familiar arms of Maggie O’Farrell. Set in the hot summer of ‘76 in London, it gradually unwraps the dynamic in the O’Riordan family. Greta wakes to find her husband of 40 years has vanished, I loved how Maggie slowly-slowly reveals the layers of the relationship like peeling layers of paint down to the crusty bits next to the wood. The siblings arrive in 3-D; the stark roles of good girl, black sheep and mammy’s boy slowly fill out with their back stories, hopes and fragility explored with tenderness. Saint Maggie O’Farrell innit.
Oh William – Elizabeth Strout
Novelist Lucy Barton, 63, widowed, with two adult daughters, reflects on her married life when her ex, William, invites her to join him on a trip to uncover his past. Elizabeth Strout shows her characters at their most human, contradictory, absolutely ignorant of each others needs and feelings. Excruciating. Compelling. It’s a wonder that any of us have any functional relationships at all: other humans are an absolute mystery.
Lily, A Tale of Revenge – Rose Tremain
Baby Lily was found abandoned, mauled by wolves, in Victoria Park 1850. We follow her life to an idyllic life in Suffolk from where she’s ripped away aged seven and abandoned at the foundling hospital Coram Fields in Bloomsbury. Here she is brutalised by a sadistic system and pathological psychopath. Stuffed full of life, vivid characters and atmosphere, the gothic revenge is gradually revealed to us. A cracker.
The Fraud – Zadie Smith
The sense of Zadie’s sheer joy in writing this is palpable. It’s set in the 1830-1870 in her usual NW London neighbourhood, but instead of chicken shops there’s ‘the charming spire of St Mary’s Willesden appearing across the hedgerows’. It follows a famous trial of the time which takes us into the abolitionist movement, plantation brutality in Jamaica, the lived experience of black folk through that time, literary shenanigans including dickens awfulness and the fragility of writers’ egos, inequality, injustice and how trapped women of all classes were. I had to do a bit of research about the trail to keep up, but it only hammered home Zadie’s question about who is deceiving who.
12 Moons: a year under a shared sky – Caro Giles
When Caro Giles goes about her life now, after this book is published, I imagine she is accosted by an endless series of hugs, strokes and affection from strangers who’ve enjoyed 12 Moons and fallen in love with her and her family. She now feels like the bestest of friends. A memoir given rhythm by the moon, the landscape of the Northern hills and the tides is Northumbria, we are taken on a heart-busting ride chasing the highs and lows of her family life. Hopeful. Wonder full.
Calenedar Girl – Stella Duffy
London, New York, hot sex, and detecting from feminist queer icon Stella Duffy. Loved the ‘how much do you really know’ theme and of course the 90’s touches are golden. Ace detective fiction and the first in a series of four.
Pleasure Activism: the politics of feeling good – adrienne maree brown
A rich collection of essays, interviews, poems, art and musings from the black, queer American facilitator and activist centred around the question of how we might place desire and pleasure at the heart of social change. Also sex. Lots of it. With added creativity, play, consent and boundaries. She opens with Audre Lorde’s famous meditation Uses of The Erotic and takes this as her grounding, which gives all the fun credibility and heft. The flaws are that pleasure includes drugs, but didn’t examine this in the light of trauma, and she only has a narrow spectrum of pleasure, not venturing too far from sex. Just as I was about to hand it back to the library I caught the best bit though, a beautiful description of boundaries as fertile hedges from which new life can grow. Magic stuff.
A Book for Her – Bridget Christie
I wish I had come across Bridget’s work a decade ago. I just woke up and fell in love with her this year from seeing her wonderful telly series, The Change, which brought the menopause revolution to life. Like her stand up act, the book uses jokes to pull back the curtain on the insane tenacity of misogyny and sexism, combined with hard hitting stats on FGM, violence against women and inequality. More vibrant on the stage than on the page, but inspiring nevertheless.
Hags: The demonisation of middle-aged women – Victoria Smith
This has taken me six months of reading in dribs and drabs to complete. Repeatedly gathering my spirits and fury to re-engage with Victoria Smith’s rigorous breakdown of intersexual and intragenerational hatred, after 10-mins or so I’d find myself aimlessly scrolling. It happened again and again, until today 29.12.23, I admitted defeat and cherry-picked a few chapters and put it aside. It is brilliant, yes, and well-written but absolutely relentless in the unpicking of hatred, the demonisation and sneaky ways in which internalised (and externalised!) misogyny gets bumped all over women of 40+. Too exhausting. Too miserable.
